Thursday, April 4, 2013

I call it "Well Loved"

This morning, I pulled my Sunkissed in Spring quilt out of the dryer after it needed a little cleaning from bearing the brunt of my daughter's dinner revisited.   (As if it isn't bad enough that I have a cold, now we get sick wee ones too, Le Sigh)   This is like the 40th time since I made it for a MBS tutorial  2 years ago that it has been washed.  I remember the first time it took a crayon beating I cried.  I was so upset over how many hours I had spent making this quilt just to have it treated like a common coloring book.  

We'll, 2 years later, and a lot of washing's later,  I am happy to say that I don't cry anymore.  I mean, it goes on a 3 year old's bed, what do I expect??  When something goes amiss I spray it, toss it in the machine, and tell myself it is "Well Loved".


I know, it looks practically perfect from a distance, right.  But get close up :)  You will find at least 10 of these little Nail Polish blobs on it.


And there are a few of these pen streaks that I can't get out for the life of me.  I have gotten ink out before but apparently this particular pen has more stubborn ink.


And almost all of the flower centers are coming unraveled.  I did a zig-zag stitch around the centers so it would secure both pieces of fabric at the same time.  If I were to do it over again, I would take the extra time and just do a blanket stitch twice, one in each direction.


So sure, it doesn't look like it did the first day I shared it, but it is "Well Loved".


Now, I don't want you all to think that this I just sit back and laugh and smile every time one of my quilts get's stained.  Quite the contrary.  This whole "Well Loved" idea has been a process for me.  It get's easier once a quilt is stained repeatedly to see it as a good thing, but, when a new quilt is stained for the first time, I'm not gonna lie, it's hard to be okay and not shed some tears.  I mean after all, there is a lot of yourself put into each one.   I could go on and on with personal experience and examples, some good, and some not so good that I have learned from along the way.  But after the up's and down's, the personal reflection and pondering, I have come to the conclusion that someday, when I look back on my quilting journey  I am pretty sure that I would prefer my quilts to be "Well Loved" rather than Well Seen.  (If only I could process all of that in the moment I find that first stain ;)  


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29 comments:

  1. I totally agree! It is hard to see a new quilt get stepped on and spilled on...but I do love to see that a quilt is actually used and loved!

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  2. I agree! The first quilt that I actually finished I gave to my son for Christmas and he asked me about washing it and I told him well, you aren't really supposed to wash them but he could wash it by hand in the bathtub. Later after thinking on that I decided that was a little ridiculous as this is the boy that after teaching him properly how to sort and wash clothes (which by the way he followed for a long time)he has now decided to throw everything all together. I decided if it started falling apart I could either fix it or make him a new one.

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  3. It's well loved and it doesn't get better than this. So now you need to make her a grown-up quilt for when she's past the mess stage.

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  4. I know how you feel - one of my favorite finishes is one that is on my daughter's bed. It has some mysterious green/grey/brown blotch at least four inches across that won't come out. I whimper whenever I see it, and remind myself the same thing. It's on a small child's bed, and it is used and loved, which is what I want my quilts to be.

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  5. My daughter's dog chewed a 8 inch hole in the center of the first applique quilt I made. I had also paid a long arm quilter to quilt it, so it had a fair monetary investment as well as my time. The quilt was well loved and now that I got over the hurt, I patched it and it is still used and loved.

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  6. We have a quilt on our couch that gets "well loved." I don't mind it though AT ALL with mine since it was one of the very first twin quilts I did in my quilting career:) My dog sleeps on it,food has been dropped on it numerous times,YES kiddo losing his meal and so on and so forth. NOW the one on my bed that is different story. All I can do is think oh I will wash it and it will be fine. Even if there are hidden stains. I HAVE. TO. IGNORE. THEM. lol

    Thank you for bringing this to attention Melissa!

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  7. I much prefer well loved!! Sure it's great to make a nice looking quilt but even better to make one that people use and love :)
    Hope you and the little ones feel better soon!

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  8. I feel the same about so many of my quilts! Sad to see the stains (etc) but happy the quilts are used. It is better than putting them away so they are never loved. I must admit I have an almost all white king size that sits in the closet. Maybe I should bring it out of storage for some loving. Thanks for sharing your feelings with us.

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  9. yes...I just finished a top for a wall hanging for a family business. They will eventually show it off in their business, but also plan to use it as a banner during some outside events...guess it may last a year or two....

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  10. You took some wonderful fabrics and helped them fulfill their destiny. And you helped a bunch of us take your pattern, our fabric, and give it life.
    My father thanks you, my mother thanks you, my sister thanks you (George M Cohen quote) and I thank you.

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  11. You quilt looks loved! That's the most important thing.

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  12. This is a fabulous post! :o)

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  13. Oh I'm sure I would have freaked too! My granny has recently gone into a home after a stroke, and my dad and uncle and aunt have taken a bunch of her stuff up to her new room, including a quilt I made for her. Apparently she uses it all the time, and I'm trying not to think about all the things that are probably all over it now (I've worked as a care assistant in a nursing home, I *know* what goes on!)

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  14. I know my grandson and granddaughter are using their quilts. They are looking a little battleworn. Time for some new ones.

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  15. I loved this post! I made a quilt that my girls used for a tea party and the stain wouldn't come out. I try to be easygoing about it, but like you said I spent a lot of time making it so it was a little heartbreaking to have it stained. Kids are only young once though and a quilt is meant to be used, so oh well!

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  16. I understand completely! I made a very nice quilt using pale pinks for my niece's baby. It even had applique on it that I rarely do. Some time later I see a post on Facebook and they were sitting on the quilt at the park, having a picnic on it! After that I decided I would never again make complicated quilts to give away. I still make them and give them away but now I use a simpler design. :)

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  17. I made a sweet mini-quilt a few weeks ago and put it beneath my daughter's birthday cupcakes that were up on a lovely decorative tiered stand. It looked great until she blew out her candles and spattered wax all over it! Yikes! Now it is loved......

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  18. Thanks for keeping it real! I always wonder about those frayed appliqué pie ex, so this was helpful :)

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  19. We do put so much time, along with our hearts and souls, in our quilts. I just had a conversation with my brother-in-law about that very thing. I made him a sampler quilt out of civil war fabric for Christmas/his birthday. One of the blocks took me four hours to make. He asked if it was okay to actually "use" the quilt. At first I thought, "Gee, I don't know." It came to me at that moment what I really felt. I said, "Yes, please use it! I made it with love and when you wrap it around you, it is like me giving you a hug." I do believe that!! Yours are beautiful and give loves and hugs to your family!!

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  20. I have a hard time with this too, but that's what they are meant for. My daughter got sharpie on her bed quilt and I cried quite a few tears even though it wasn't very much and it's hardly noticeable now. I just have to remember that what matters is that they are using the quilts.

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  21. You are so right, in the end it's so much nicer to have a quilt used, loved and appreciated, than putting it in a cupboard and never look at it again! And if stains and washing are the consequences of that loving, it's still worth it for the HAPPINESS the quilt brings.

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  22. I totally agree. Well loved is best! I cannot for the life of me remove lip gloss stain! But now I can overlook it.

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  23. I see the process that you describe like being a mother. We give "ourselves" sometimes with love given back, and sometimes it feels like we give and give and give. It is what we do the best we know how. Often some of our edges come undone and we are left with a few stains, but we would not have it any other way. I like it when my quilts are used and used. (except over the garbage at the end of the driveway!). Your process is a healthy one going in the best direction. Good for you! Your kids' growing up with quilting everything in their lives is such a great gift you give them. (hope not too "deep" for a Fri:)

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  24. I think well loved is best too. I went and saw a lecture by Tula Pink a couple weeks ago, and her quilts are phenomonal! I thought that is was so AWESOME" that she told us it was ok for us to "touch" the quilts (I think I touched them all ) because that is what they were made for!

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  25. At least you finish your quilts so they can get "well loved"! LOL. In reality, I have finished a few, but VERY few when my kids were little!! Although the one I DID finish for daughter #1 did get chewed by daughter #2's rat when she escaped from her cage. There was a bit of the "well loved" reaction when that was discovered!! (luckily there were only a few holes in it, and I did get it repaired after a few years. LOL!) I did finish just yesterday a baby quilt for my nephew's boy, and the best thing was seeing his older brother bring out his quilt that I had made for him two years ago, and he gave me a kiss and told me "Thank you" for his quilt. It sure warmed my heart!! (though maybe it was a good thing that I didn't get to inspect it closely it see the "well loved" spots that it may have had!! :-)
    You have a great weekend!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and pictures. Your daughter is a doll, and that quilt wrapped around her is a hug from her mommy, even when you aren't with her! Hugs, Helen

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  26. And PS. get well soon!! I hope you and the kiddos get to feeling better quickly: sorry that I didn't say that FIRST in my previous post!! (And next time you feel a cold coming on, try the Zicam oral spray: it works wonders!! I don't think I've had a cold all winter!!) Hugs!

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  27. If you love a quilt, let it go...it is loved! :) I have loved this pattern from the moment I saw it...I will make it someday!

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  28. To me that bottom picture is exactly the reason we all quilt (well, that and we are all fabric addicts LOL)

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  29. I completely agree! Of course, I was the little girl making a mess of a few quilts (hangs head in shame) a long time ago. Each time I gift a quilt, it goes in the wash first, because I want people to know it is supposed to be used. Nothing gripes me out more than someone 'putting it away' for safe keeping. I don't know about you, but the quilts I have that I consider heirlooms are ravelling, thread-bare in a few spots and have their fair share of stains. They have been loved, that to me, that's what makes an heirloom!

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Thank you so much for your sweet comments. I just love hearing from you!!
Have a Happy Quilting Day :)

Melissa